Category: Reviews

‘Allegiant’ Review: You Can’t Cover up a Convoluted Story with Special Effects


There’s a common theory that going into a movie with low expectations will help you appreciate it more and leave you pleasantly surprised. That’s certainly not the case for Allegiant.

The Divergent series had the potential to be the next Hunger Games. The first film boasted an amazing cast (except for the incredibly boring Theo James), had some impressive action sequences, and built an interesting world that left viewers wanting more. Sure it had an incredibly dull love story and a slew of YA cliches, but it was still a pretty decent effort with great franchise-potential. However, the second film pretty much flushed that potential down the toilet with bad dialogue, an overload of subplots and a convoluted story. So at this point, why should I even bother reviewing Allegiant? Because I’m a glutton for punishment.

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’10 Cloverfield Lane’ Review: John Goodman Sure is Scary…


(Originally posted on Nerd Bastards)

The best way to describe watching 10 Cloverfield Lane is like eating chocolate ice cream with lemon-infused olive oil: it’s unusual but tastes absolutely delicious. Audiences expecting a Cloverfield spin-off will be greatly disappointed. There’s no giant monster wrecking a city, no shaky-cam, and no T.J. Miller screaming “Oh my god!” It’s a smaller, more humble film that resembles an apocalyptic thriller more than a monster-disaster movie. J.J. Abrams made it clear on several occasions that this film would be a “blood relative” to the original Cloverfield and not feature the first film’s monster. The only thing these films have in common are their extraterrestrial and horror themes. It’s much like what John Carpenter tried to do with the Halloween films by having several films with different stories all set during the holiday (before audiences decried the third film’s lack of Michael Myers). Much like Halloween 3, 10 Cloverfield Lane focus on crafting a new story instead of rehashing an old one. As a result, the sheer quality and ambition of 10 Cloverfield Lane is absolutely enough to make it even better than the film that spiritually preceded it.

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Gods of Egypt Review: A Plague of Terrible Writing and Bad CGI.


(Originally posted on Nerd Bastards)

As I was watching Gods of Egypt, I was reminded of an episode of Disney’s often-criticized version of Doug. The episode involved a big-shot character named Guy being inspired by a Broadway show to make a musical based on the Mona Lisa. He asks a goofy character named Skeeter to write it.

Skeeter asks: “What’s the story?”

To which Guy responds: “Who cares? It’s the most famous painting ever! It’s gotta be (great), right?”

Guy proceeds to tell Skeeter: “Just remember, it’s gotta be big! Big! BIG! Lights, songs, explosions!”

Skeeter has trouble thinking of a story, so Doug hands him a book of fairy tales. Skeeter ends up writing a cliched story that pretty much rips off Cinderella, and Guy loves it.

And then it hit me: in 1997, Disney’s Doug predicted the inception of Gods of Egypt almost two decades later. Alex Proyas probably skimmed a book on Egyptian mythology and ordered a big-budget blockbuster based on his perception of it. He then proceeded to hire two hapless writers to fulfill his fantasy with absolutely no attention to the story or its characters. Say what you want about Disney’s Doug, but it made a solid prediction if you ask me.

NOTE: This review contains SPOILERS.

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